Origin

Instruments of Expression: Bells, Drums, and a Horn

by S. D. Liddiard

Last Saturday afternoon, Michael and William lingered over cappuccinos in the Starbucks at the downtown Chapters store. A wan sun shone heatlessly through the plate glass windows. The two of them idly watched a troupe of buskers juggle, mime, and play.

"Are you going to the party tonight, Michael?"

"I’ll be there with bells on. Cindy always throws the most fantastic blowouts. What about you?"

"I’m not so sure. Cindy hangs out with weirdoes."

"Yeah, you’re one of them."

"I’m serious. There’s her boyfriend for starters. Lord knows I have nothing against body piercing or tattoos, but have you seen just what he has all over his body? It’s the most macabre imagery I’ve ever seen. He has a silver spider hanging from his eyebrow! And that’s just the beginning."

"So he marches to the beat of a different drummer. He’s harmless. You’ve never really talked to him, have you? His ambition is to open a book store."

"Yeah, well he gives me the creeps. I can’t stand to be in the same room with him. And then there are those two goons who follow him around. They look like they drown cats for fun. One of them watches me like a hawk whenever he sees me. You know who I mean: the one with all the zippers. I think he wants to kill me."

"Hell’s bells, man, you sound like a paranoiac."

"Think what you like, I don’t know if I’m up for it."

"Julie will be there."

"Mmm, Julie. Maybe I will go. If there were only some way to bell the cat."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, some way to know when ’The Zipper’ is coming. Their place is big enough that I could stay out of his way if I only had a warning when he was coming."

"You’re really afraid of this guy. You might be right too. He is pretty scary looking."

"That’s encouraging."

"Anyway, I have your solution: Cindy’s boyfriend is your bellwether. ‘The Zipper’ follows him everywhere. If you see him, just beat a quick retreat. Aren’t I a genius?"

"You sure love to blow your own horn. It’s not much of an idea, but it could work."

"So I’ll see you there?"

"See you there."

The expression I’ll be there with bells on indicates the speaker’s assurance of arrival at an event and has been ascribed to American settlers, whose Conestoga wagons often arrived at their destinations with bronze bells ringing to announce the arrival of a party with friendly intentions.

Someone who marches to the beat of a different drummer has different views, interests, or values than his or her contemporaries. A variant of this expression was made well known by Henry David Thoreau in Walden (1850): "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer." The expression is much older, however, and owes its existence to the practice of European armies using a drummer to keep time as they marched and to signal various orders (see beat a retreat, below). Anyone marching to a different drummer was in some other army and, therefore, likely had different views.

Hell’s bells is an interjection, an expression of surprise and disappointment. It was shortened from the original Hell’s bells and buckets of blood. Although this expression’s exact provenance is not known, it is believed to have originated aboard 17th century pirate ships.

To bell the cat is to render a common enemy powerless at great personal risk. In the late 14th century, William Langland wrote a poem, The Vision Concerning Piers Plowman, in which a family of mice meets to decide what to do about the cat that interferes with their food foraging. When one young member suggests putting a bell around the cat’s neck to warn them of its approach, his idea is greeted with approval except for a family elder who opines, "Excellent idea, but who will bell the cat?"

A bellwether is a leader or chief. Lately it is used most often to mean indicator or predictor, as in "Vermont is a bellwether state." This usage arises from the idea that a majority of like individuals or groups follow the bellwether. Originally a bellwether was the lead sheep of a flock and wore a bell so the shepherd could more easily find him. Since Anglo-Saxon times, the bellwether was traditionally a castrated male.

To beat a retreat means to leave or run away. For centuries, armies have used a drummer to help ranks of soldiers march in time. By having the drummer change the pace of his drumming, the commander can easily control the speed at which his army moves. Different rhythms signal different activities, such as a charge, a parley (talks between sides), or a retreat.

To blow your own horn is to be a braggart or "blowhard." This expression, arising in the American West about the middle of the 19th century, derives from an earlier expression, blow your own trumpet, dating back to at least 1576 and probably originating in medieval times, when heralds blew trumpets to announce the arrival of the king. Of course, any merchant or other commoner who wanted to announce his arrival had to blow his own horn.

S. D. Liddiard learned to beat the triangle in kindergarten. Now he only beats dead horses, a subject he reserves for another day.