Origins

Ski Bunnies

by Dalya Goldberger

On a chairlift climbing higher and higher into the white mist of a ski mountain in Quebec, Delilah reconsiders her decision to learn how to ski.

"Well, Hoopty, once again you’ve managed to get me to do something I don’t want to do," Delilah complained. "I don’t have a lot of confidence in these shoddy looking chairlifts, let alone my own skiing abilities."

"DON’T WORRY, MISS D — I’VE DONE THIS BEFORE. BESIDES, OUR ABLE INSTRUCTOR OLAF IS WAITING FOR US AT THE TOP, READY TO UNLEASH THE SKI QUEENS WE KNOW WE ARE," reassured a spirited Miss Hoopty.

Delilah looked unconvinced as they neared the summit.

Pushing off from the chairlift, Miss Hoopty slid down the small slope and promptly fell on her behind. Delilah followed, frowning, but managed to stay upright.

"I thought you said you could ski!" shrieked Delilah, her fragile confidence shattered. She cursed her misplaced faith in Miss Hoopty.

Miss Hoopty ignored her and carefully got to her feet. "NOW, WHERE IS OLAF?" she asked looking around. "HE SAID HE’D BE WEARING A RED JACKET."

The two women squinted in the bright sunlight, looking for Olaf.

"I find it hard to believe that we were supposed to meet him at the TOP of the hill. We’re beginners — we don’t know how to ski!"

"HMM. MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT" agreed Miss Hoopty after a few minutes passed with no sign of Olaf. "WELL, QUIT YOUR LOLLYGAGGING AND LET’S GO BACK DOWN."

The prospect of having to ski down the hill was most unappealing to Delilah; however, she realized that she had no alternative.

"Alright, which way do we go?" she grumbled.

Miss Hoopty pointed in the direction that several other skiers were headed. They followed the others down a gentle slope without incident and then reached an edge that broke off sharply and went straight down.

"You’ve got to be kidding!" screamed Delilah perched at the brink, her skis hanging over the edge. "I don’t have the guts for this!"

"COME ON, DRINKS IN THE LODGE ARE ON ME — HEY, DO YOU THINK THEY TAKE CANADIAN TIRE MONEY?" chuckled Miss Hoopty.

"Trying to convince you of imminent danger is like trying to nail jello to a tree!" said Delilah between clenched teeth. She punctuated her exasperation by jabbing a pole into the grainy snow.

With that last gesture, Delilah slid forward prematurely and careened down the hill, arms flailing and expletives flying.

"WAIT FOR ME!" cried Miss Hoopty who launched herself over the edge after Delilah.

It was only by the grace of some unseen and benevolent force that the two were delivered safely to the base of the hill, and in a heap, to the waiting Olaf.

"Ladies, I was starting to worry about you," smiled Olaf. "Are you ready for your lesson?"

Delilah, looking haggard and puffing so much she was going to go up in smoke, glared at the bright-eyed Olaf.

"WE DON’T NEED LESSONS! THAT WAS GREAT!" cried Miss Hoopty.

During the American Civil War, Civil War suppliers cheated the Union Army by using a cheap uniform cloth called shoddy, which literally came apart on the back of the wearer. The word became an adjective to describe anything that is poorly made or that seems ready to fall apart.

First recorded in 1868, lollygagging is an Americanism that means to fool around, dawdle or waste time. It can also mean to make love, and some would argue that this is no waste of time.

Guts is another Americanism used since about 1880 to mean courage.

Canadian Tire money is the basis of a consumer rewards program developed in 1958 by Canadian Tire Gas Bars — now called just Canadian Tire — a veritable icon among Canadian stores that sells more than just tires. Canadian Tire money looks like real currency and is available in denominations of 5¢, 10¢, 25¢, 50¢, $1 and $2.

The idea behind the metaphor trying to nail jello to a tree seems to have originated with Theodore Roosevelt in a letter to William Roscoe Thayer in which he describes the difficulty he was experiencing in negotiating with Columbia regarding the Panama canal. In the letter he says, "You could no more make an agreement with them than you could nail currant jelly to a wall — and the failure to nail currant jelly to a wall is not due to the nail; it is due to the currant jelly."

Haggard means gaunt, drawn, wasted or exhausted and has its roots in the ancient sport of falconry. A haggard bird is one that is trapped as an adult and that is, therefore, very hard to tame unlike a bird captured at a young age. By the 14th century the word came to mean a wild and intractable person and later meant a terrified, anxious or exhausted expression on a human face before it took on the meaning it has today.

Puffing so much, you’re going to go up in smoke is believed to be a Canadian expression that means you’re out of shape.

Dalya Goldberger is Managing Editor of Writer’s Block. Listen for her from time to time on Paul Castle’s "That’s a Good Question" segment of Information Morning on CBC radio in Saint John, New Brunswick.

Sources: Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins: Revised and Expanded Edition by Robert Hendrickson and Canadian Sayings by Bill Casselman.