Origins

Deking for Dignity

by Dalya Goldberger

Miss Hoopty and Delilah are perched atop steel bar stools in a trendy downtown nightclub, martinis in hand and getting ready for an evening of durtygurls erotic, spoken-word poetry.

“Finally!” exclaimed Delilah settling on her stool, which stuck to her bare legs in the heat. “A night out and it’s not snowing or raining. I was starting to get cabin fever.”

“YOU’RE CRAZY. THE AIR CONDITIONING IS ON THE FRITZ AND THE HUMIDEX IS AT 32 DEGREES CELSIUS!”

Preparing to chastise Miss Hoopty’s preference for frigid temperatures, Delilah was pre-empted by the sound of a microphone being tapped.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen,” began the hip, female host. “Welcome to another instalment of the durtygurls reading series where cutting-edge women writers, poets and spoken word artists read about sexuality and other forbidden fruits. First up is Oni, the Haitian Sensation.”

“THIS IS GREAT! I LOVE ANY EVENT THAT MIXES SEX AND ALCOHOL,” said Miss Hoopty, forgetting the heat and finishing her third chilled Chocolatini.

“Quel surprise,” replied Delilah dryly, still sipping her first. “Get thee to a nunnery.”

Oni began. “Un, deux, trois — you, me, him.”

“You know, Hoopty” Delilah whispered, “you shouldn’t hide your light under a bushel. It’s open mike night — why don’t you get up there and read some of your poetry?”

“I DON’T THINK SO,” Miss Hoopty said with finality and loud enough to cause several people to look over at her.

“Okay, don’t get snarky with me; I’ll take your name off the list” Delilah said.

“WHAT?!” Miss Hoopty screeched as Oni finished to loud applause. “TELL ME YOU DIDN’T SIGN ME UP!”

Without waiting for an answer, Miss Hoopty leapt off her stool and ran for the exit.

“Wait!” cried Delilah catching up to her. “Why are you trying to deke out on me?”

Miss Hoopty turned on her heel to face Delilah.

“IF THEY ANNOUNCE MY NAME BEFORE I MAKE IT OUTTA HERE, I’M GONNA MARCH YOU OVER TO THE KARAOKE BAR AND MAKE YOU SING WHITNEY HOUSTON AND VANILLA ICE SONGS!”

Delilah’s faced blanched. “Oh my God; you wouldn’t.”

“TIT FOR TAT, MY FRIEND” assured the unblinking Miss Hoopty.

The two women sprinted out of the nightclub.

Cabin fever is a North American term for a condition characterized by irritability and anxiety resulting from long periods of confinement indoors, especially during the winter.

On the fritz is a commonly used expression that means out of working order or in disrepair; however, the origin of the word fritz in this context is unknown. The expression was not recorded before the 1920s; therefore, it may be related to the derogatory term “Fritz” for a World War I German soldier. Someone or something that was out of working order could have been compared to the defeated Germans. Others guess that fritz is a corruption of the old sense of the word “frittered,” which means to have torn or broken into pieces.

The humidex, a Canadian invention, is a scale indicating the level of personal discomfort resulting from combined heat and humidity. Many a Canadian living in central Canada will tell you that in the summer months “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity” that gets you.

Get thee to a nunnery is an expression used in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Hamlet spurns Ophelia’s advances by telling her to go to a whorehouse, for which nunnery was Elizabethan slang.

The expression hide your light under a bushel means to be exceedingly modest by hiding your abilities so that no one can see them. Derived from early translations of the Bible in which Jesus said to his disciples “A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick.”

To act snarky is to display a cranky, sarcastic attitude. While there is no direct relationship to the snark in Lewis Carroll’s poem “The Hunting of the Snark,” many attribute this adverb to the troublesome creature.

Deke, an abbreviation of decoy, is Canadian hockey slang meaning to deceive (usually a defensive player) with a fake shot or movement. The term is frequently used outside of the hockey context.

The expression tit for tat derives from the 17th century phrase tip for tap. Tip and tap both meant the same thing — a light blow. Therefore, the expression means a blow for a blow.

Dalya Goldberger is Managing Editor of Writer’s Block. Listen for her from time to time on Paul Castle’s “That’s a Good Question” segment on CBC radio in Saint John, New Brunswick, and CBC's "Daybreak" in Prince George, British Columbia.

Sources: Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins: Revised and Expanded Edition by Robert Hendrickson.