Origins

Holiday Spirit

by Dalya Goldberger

Miss Hoopty and Delilah enter the bank to withdraw money for their holiday spending spree. They had just barely stomped all the snow from their boots when Miss Hoopty grabbed Delilah’s arm.

"OH MY GOD! LOOK, MISS D!" shrieked Miss Hoopty pointing to a large man clad in red and white at the nearest teller’s wicket. "DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?" she barely whispered.

Before Delilah could answer, Miss Hoopty marched right up to the hefty gentleman, who was donning black gloves and readying himself to leave.

"HELLO, SANTA!" Miss Hoopty sang out, her mistletoe earrings swaying gaily.

Looking annoyed, Santa nodded at the two women and tried to move past them.

Undeterred and overflowing with the holiday spirit, Miss Hoopty blocked his path and persisted. "SANTA, WAIT! WHAT’S THE MATTER? YOU DON’T LOOK VERY HAPPY."

This time Santa spoke, his irritation punctuated by his English accent. "Undoubtedly, ladies, you perceive my job to be an enjoyable one. However, I have just spent the last fortnight catering to cranky, urine-soaked ragamuffins at the local mall, listening to their greedy requests for all things plastic that go ‘vroom’ and wishing only to turn them over to a diligent flaybottomist."

A stunned Miss Hoopty blinked back at Santa.

"Now wait a minute, Santa," retorted Delilah. "You have an image to uphold! If you don’t like your job, you should look for a new one…preferably one that doesn’t require you to deal with the public."

"My dear, I admire your moxie; however your lilliputian suggestion will not help me in this jobless town. Unfortunately, I must endure the throngs of rugrats for a few more days. Now, if you quidnuncs will kindly step aside, I would be most grateful."

"YOU MEAN YOU DON’T LIKE CHRISTMAS?" Miss Hoopty asked in disbelief.

Sighing and casting a glance at Miss Hoopty’s accoutrements, Santa replied, "Young lady, judging from your fofarraw, you are obviously a woman of discernment," and then left the building.

After a few long seconds of silence, Delilah turned to Miss Hoopty, who was still staring in the direction of the departed Christmas icon. "Wow," was all she could offer.

"I KNOW! CAN YOU BELIEVE WE JUST MET SANTA CLAUS?"

A ragamuffin is a shabby, dirty child. While the word is thought to be derived from the name of a demon in the 14th-century poem Piers Plowman, recent research has uncovered that it was a real person’s last name, most likely deriving from the Middle English raggi, meaning ragged and Middle Dutch muffe, meaning mitten.

The term flaybottomist originated in the mid 18th century in the days of "spare the rod and spoil the child." The word is a humorous synonym for a school teacher who spanked the bottoms of school children as a form of discipline.

Moxie is a slang word that denotes courage, nerve or guts. Its origin is thought to be derived from a popular bitter, tart, unsweetened New England soft drink. Moxie was originally made in 1884 as a medicine that was said to cure "brain and nervous exhaustion, loss of manhood, softening of the brain, and mental imbecility." Moxie became America’s first mass-market soft drink.

Lilliputian has come to mean tiny or diminutive owing to the people of Lilliput, characters averaging six inches in height in Jonathan Swift’s satirical novel, Gulliver’s Travels.

Rugrat is another term for a child and originated in the United States around 1968.

A quidnunc is a busy-body, someone who pries and gossips and wants to know everything that is going on around him or her. The term derives from the Latin words quid nunc, meaning "What now?" or "What’s happening?" The term is first recorded in the Tatler in 1709.

Fofarraw refers to tawdry baubles and trinkets or clothing. The term most likely derives from the Spanish word fanfarron, meaning braggart.

Dalya Goldberger is Managing Editor of Writer’s Block.

Sources: Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins: Revised and Expanded Edition by Robert Hendrickson.